Little Squish and I enjoy nice, long walks with the stroller. Most of our baby gear was either gifted or thrifted, but not the stroller. The fancy, bright yellow running stroller with fixed front wheel, hand brake, safety reflectors, and hood that lowers in increments depending on the angle of the sun was my personal splurge. I know there are perfectly good strollers on Craigslist, but I wanted something new. This stroller is special. This stroller is for us, Squish.
On a recent stroll, we happened to walk past the high school during lunchtime, which means young, bright minds were spewing into the streets, eager to get away from the building for 30 minutes. A car full of cool dudes approached, their cool dude music blasting from the rolled-down windows. As they passed, one of them shouted, "Hey daddy!"
He was talking to me.
I'm the daddy.
My first thought was, Clearly, I am not Hot Mom. Hot Moms make disheveled exhaustion look chic. The dark circles under their eyes are sultry. Their messy buns are coiffures. They make motherhood look so damn good.
I look like a dude.
My second thought followed quickly: I don't want to be Hot Mom. I want to be Strong Mom. Not only is Strong Mom a way more realistic goal, it's so much more practical. It helps me carry heavy babies, heave groceries, diaper bag, and occupied car seat into the house in one trip, push a stroller up a massive hill. It improves my running, snowshoeing, and hiking. None of this happens by just looking good.
Hot Mom has its benefits, I don't doubt, and Hot Moms can be strong. But when I aim for Hot Mom I end up with perpetual dissatisfaction and a hefty price tag for all those cool clothes. I constantly compare myself to other women, ranking myself in a hierarchy where I will never be content with my position.
Strong Mom can be achieved while wearing the oldest sweatpants in my closet.
I'm not saying I'm ugly. I don't think that at all. I'm a very nice looking human being. I'm saying my brand of nice-looking can be mistaken for a man from time to time. And I just can't muster the energy to care. I'm too busy getting stronger, faster, and happier.
Besides, if those cool dudes thought I was a man, then they saw a man being active and spending quality time with his baby. I'm happy to represent model fatherhood.
On a recent stroll, we happened to walk past the high school during lunchtime, which means young, bright minds were spewing into the streets, eager to get away from the building for 30 minutes. A car full of cool dudes approached, their cool dude music blasting from the rolled-down windows. As they passed, one of them shouted, "Hey daddy!"
He was talking to me.
My first thought was, Clearly, I am not Hot Mom. Hot Moms make disheveled exhaustion look chic. The dark circles under their eyes are sultry. Their messy buns are coiffures. They make motherhood look so damn good.I look like a dude.
My second thought followed quickly: I don't want to be Hot Mom. I want to be Strong Mom. Not only is Strong Mom a way more realistic goal, it's so much more practical. It helps me carry heavy babies, heave groceries, diaper bag, and occupied car seat into the house in one trip, push a stroller up a massive hill. It improves my running, snowshoeing, and hiking. None of this happens by just looking good.
Hot Mom has its benefits, I don't doubt, and Hot Moms can be strong. But when I aim for Hot Mom I end up with perpetual dissatisfaction and a hefty price tag for all those cool clothes. I constantly compare myself to other women, ranking myself in a hierarchy where I will never be content with my position.
Strong Mom can be achieved while wearing the oldest sweatpants in my closet.
I'm not saying I'm ugly. I don't think that at all. I'm a very nice looking human being. I'm saying my brand of nice-looking can be mistaken for a man from time to time. And I just can't muster the energy to care. I'm too busy getting stronger, faster, and happier.
Besides, if those cool dudes thought I was a man, then they saw a man being active and spending quality time with his baby. I'm happy to represent model fatherhood.
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